The Wonderland of Knowledge Wednesdays returns (triumphantly) with another look at the animal world. We’ve seen the horrible puns that the book used for geese (and then some geese took out an airplane over the Hudson River the very next day), we’ve seen the authors’ feelings towards birds, but today’s entry marks the first time we’ve seen the Wonderland sink its head into the water and cast its gaze towards the creatures that live beneath the deep.

Today, my friends, we look at the cuttlefish.

The entry starts out promising enough, refering to the cuttlefish as an “evil-eyed creature skulking in the deep, ready to pounce on its unsuspecting prey,” painting the fish with a poetic brush. But then the author of this particular entry starts calling other animals out, and the facts get real.

The useful relative. Useful.

“I am so sick of the octopus. I asked it to help me peel the potatoes while I made the remoulade, but he just sat on the couch because he said he’d been waiting for a ‘real long time’ to see this episode of SVU.

Useless.”

The cuttlefish goes from “evil-looking” to “useful” in no time flat. The Wonderland of Knowledge needs to do two things, in this order:

a. make up its mind with regards to the evilness/status of cuttlefish in society
b. find a way less creepy picture of a cuttlefish if it wants me to welcome it into my life