I just saw an ad on the television that began with yellow letters against a stark red background that read: “STOP GLOBAL WARMING.” Slowly the red faded into the familiar image of a closeup of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and the message continued: “OR ALL THE REESE’S CUPS WILL MELT.”

While true, I guess, we should also remember that if the polar ice caps melt, many of us will die. If all the Reese’s Cups melt, I’ll have to switch to Reese’s Pieces, which would be more resilient due to their hard candy coating. I found it odd that Hershey’s would take such a serious issue and use it to promote their candy. Although, if they’ve already started down this path, why not take it further? Well, I’m here to help, chocolate company.

• YOU DESERVE SOCIALIZED MEDICINE…WE’LL HELP TO MAKE THIS AN ISSUE BY CONTINUING TO DESTROY YOUR BODY.
• STOP GENOCIDE IN DARFUR…BECAUSE MANY OF THOSE BEING ETHNICALLY CLEANSED PROBABLY ENJOY ALMOND JOYS.
• 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB…SPEAKING OF WHICH, LET’S THINK ABOUT THE INSIDE OF A DELICIOUS CADBURY CREME EGG.
• FREE TIBET…OR EAT A WHATCHAMACALLIT. IT’S TOTALLY YOUR CALL.
• WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE…REGULAR KISSES OR KISSES WITH ALMONDS?