Hello! Friendster here! Remember us? We were that website that you used to go to before Facebook and mySpa… you know what? Doesn’t matter.

Anyway. Just thought we’d drop a quick note to let you know about some exciting new features we’ve been working on. (We hung on to your email address.)

Unlike some other sites out there, Friendster lets you look at images of you and your friends with our new slideshow feature without surrendering power of attorney to Rupert Murdoch (allegedly). Also! A friend of ours told us that effective next month, logging into mySpace implicitly gives them permission to sell your credit card information. Gotta be careful.

Based on what we know about the Internet, odds are you speak Vietnamese. Well now we’ve totally got you covered. Trơ tráo!

So, like. Irony is really big right now. Kind of like how all the cool people drink Pabst Blue Ribbon even though it’s terrible. You know, to be funny. Maybe it would be “cool” if you started moving back to Friendster. Just throwing that out there.

Please come back. We heard that Facebook is going to start changing their advertising to target pedophiles.